PWR's San Diego Experts: Your Divorce Options with Lynn Waldman

/ Planning Within Reach, LLC/

Lynn Waldman is the Owner and Clinical Director of the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center

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We have witnessed our family members, friends, and clients deal with the stress of divorce. Just as there are different ways to get married, there are different ways to get divorced. While many people initially say they want the fastest and cheapest solution, that can be a disaster financially in the long-run if the marital balance sheet is not split properly. We found Lynn in our search to find someone that can help those that are contemplating divorce to understand all of their options.

Lynn, what type of work do you do at the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center?

We offer several different services, all with the goal of assisting clients through a divorce with the least amount of disruption and trauma to their life and the lives of their families.

Therapy and Divorce Coaching

We explore difficult thoughts, feelings, urges and debrief the trauma of divorce. We also look at how clients can gain skills to cope with difficulties, such as; tolerating distress, emotion regulation and how to say things in a way that they will be heard by others. I am a DBT (Dialectical Behavior therapy) informed therapist, so even when clients have difficult thoughts and feelings, we want to get them to a place where their actions and behavior are effective and working for them.

Groups

We offer groups for clients going through a divorce where they will feel they are not alone and have the support of a community of like-minded folks.

FCS Prep (Family Court Services Prep)

When clients cannot agree upon a parenting plan for their children, they will be mandated to go to FCS. We spend two hours with a client going over what questions they are most likely to be asked when they have an upcoming appointment at Family Court.

Collaborative Divorce Coach

I am Past President, and currently on the Board as a Member-at-Large, with Collaborative Practice San Diego. Collaborative is a team approach to divorce; each client has an attorney and Divorce Coach. The team also includes a Divorce Financial Analyst who leads meetings and Child Specialist if children are involved. It’s like wrap-around services for the family- there is transparency and no one is trying to, “win.” Our goal is to preserve relationships and resources for families.

Divorce Workshops

We are just launching a Second Saturday workshop in the South Bay on March 14th- Second Saturday South Bay— We also have a workshop in Carmel Valley on the first Saturday of every month and this is sponsored by Collaborative Practice San Diego.

Private Mediation

When parents cannot agree upon a parenting plan and schedule for sharing their children, we facilitate those conversations. We are able to make recommendations to the court, or it can be completely confidential.

It sounds like your center is a good first stop for couples considering getting divorced. Is that correct?

Yes - clients often want to know, “what is the next step?” We are able to offer referrals, support and calm when clients are in a panic. Clients frequently feel the need to rush to make a decision, when really, they need to slow things down and take time to think and consider all of their options. The ‘fight, flight, freeze’ response kicks in and that is counterintuitive to reaching family-centered goals in a divorce.

You offer "discernment counseling" which I had never heard of before. What is that?

Discernment counseling offers clients the opportunity to look at and assess the state of their marriage or relationship. It is not marriage therapy, it is not therapy at all. The counseling sessions are up to five 80-minute sessions and occur when one member of the couple is “leaning into” the marriage, wanting to save it, and the other member of the couple is “leaning out” seeking a divorce. There are three paths to resolutions in discernment counseling;

  • Leave things as they are,

  • Separation and divorce,

  • A commitment to six months of marriage therapy.

If you’ve been married for any length of time, it makes sense that you would thoughtfully consider what road to take.

What are the "next steps" for couples who decide they want to get divorced?

When clients have decided to divorce, then they need to become educated about their options for getting through the process. We offer workshops that look at all options;

  • Do-it-Yourself,

  • Litigation,

  • Mediation or

  • Collaborative Divorce.

We like to say that once clients have decided to divorce, then the next most important question is *how* to divorce.

What is your cost? Does insurance cover your fee in some cases?

We take all out of network insurance benefits. While we are not on any insurance panels, we are happy to facilitate reimbursement for clients with their insurance company. We have different fees for different services and would be happy to offer a 15-minute phone consultation to any interested clients.

What do you love most about your work?

I love to hold the safe space for my clients- their world has turned upside down and I want them to know, through my commitment to their process, they will get through this. And in fact, somewhere, they will find a silver lining that they never even expected.

If you are interested in talking with Lynn and her team at the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center, here is her contact info:

Website: San Diego Divorce Counseling Center

Facebook Live: Real Divorce Talk

Upcoming Event: Second Saturday South Bay (March 14th in South Bay, facilitated by Lynn Waldman, LCSW, Shawn Skillin, JD., and Cinda Jones, CDFA)

Linda Rogers, CFP®, EA, MSBA is the owner and founder of Planning Within Reach, LLC (PWR). Originally from New Jersey, Linda services clients throughout San Diego county and nationwide. She leads the design of PWR's investment portfolios which utilize broad, low-cost investments that integrate environmentally, socially, and governance (ESG) factors.

Planning Within Reach, LLC (PWR) is a fee-only and fiduciary wealth management firm offering one-time comprehensive financial planning, ongoing impact-focused investment management and tax preparation services in San Diego and nationwide. PWR is a woman-owned firm that specializes in busy professionals and impact investors. Planning Within Reach, LLC and their advisors do not receive commissions and do not hold any insurance licenses or brokerage relationships.